An article for the Cathedral Times
by Sara Craig-Goodell, Program Coordinator for Communications and Outreach
Back in March, I was in a discussion about Luke 9:28-36. After we finished reading, the question was put to us: what stands out to you in that passage?
In this particular scripture, Jesus takes Peter, John, and James up to the mountain to pray and Jesus’ face suddenly changes, and his clothes become dazzling white, and Moses and Elijah appear to him. Miraculous, right? …But that wasn’t what struck one member of the discussion. It was this part:
“…Now Peter and his companions were weighed down with sleep…”
…Weighed down with sleep. “They were exhausted,” she said. My nod joined other nods and murmurs of agreement around the room. They were exhausted. That discussion has stuck with me since March.
I don’t know about you, but my attention lately has been absolutely riveted to the news— eyeballs glued to the tiny screen that rolls out a thunderous, crashing wave of never-ending media. There’s a constant deluge of happenings around us, and you can consume vast amounts of it, then tuck it tidily away in your pocket.
It’s exhausting.
The news on top of daily life is utterly exhausting… But if you keep reading in Luke, this is what comes next “… but since they stayed awake, they saw his glory…” and dear Peter goes on to say “Master, it is good for us to be here; let us make three dwellings—one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”
Here Peter is—exhausted and awestruck—offering to construct three dwellings! Now, he might have only been talking about setting up a couple of yurts, but still.
And so, I take heart that by keeping awake and continuing to follow what is going on in the wider world around me, there is the chance to see something miraculous, a transfiguration. I am also trying to remember to be like Peter and go the extra mile; to do something, to support the cause, even when all I really want to do is sleep.
When I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed by the outside world, I find myself withdrawing from everything around me. It’s much easier to face only the things right inside my own little bubble. Taking care of the minutiae of everyday life feels so much less overwhelming than taking on the burdens of the world. That is my self-care sometimes, ignoring the rest of the universe for a little while and focusing on my day-to-day.
It's inevitable that eventually everything eeks back in, though. Some family, friend, or acquaintance asks if I heard about so-and-so and I feel compelled to rejoin the cacophony of news, blogs, Substack posts, and worst of all, social media. I’ll hear about this wonderful or horrible thing that happened, and like Peter, I feel motivated to do something. And the cycle repeats.
But what I’ve been attempting to do lately to “stay awake,” to fend off the inevitable—super enthusiasm, a bit of drudgery, followed by complete burnout—is not go too far off the deep end. I’m giving myself permission to focus on just one or two things to pay attention to. To click the premade letter to my congresspeople rather than write a three-page, heavily researched diatribe on the subject. To design a poster and share it, instead of showing up in the crowd. Connecting one-on-one with a small group of people to talk about what is troubling them rather than reading the comments and arguing with people on the internet. To stop beating myself up for not doing all the things I feel I ought to be doing and do the work I want to do. To help in a way that may be small but at least it’s something.
It’s a hard thing. Staying awake. But I’m trying.